The secret to getting your baby to sleep

Sorry, I know that was a bit clickbait-y but honestly, you can’t make your baby sleep any more than they need to.

Each baby has their own individual sleep needs (which is one of my biggest issues with strict sleep schedules).

There are things you can do to help optimise your baby’s natural sleep regulators, and to help to make the nights feel more manageable. But even then, there’ll be periods when nights are extra hard and when your baby is more unsettled; for example during illness, developmental leaps and separation anxiety.

The secret is to adjust your own expectations.

There’s a whole sleep industry based on the premise that there’s a problem with your child’s sleep, that you’re not doing something right and that there’s a magic trick to making your child sleep more. Many of us also face messaging and expectations around infant sleep from our own parents, because they raised children at a time and in a culture when strict schedules and sleep training were the norm.

The secret is also to prioritise and manage your own needs and physical and mental health.

Let go of the idea that these can only occur while your child is sleeping, or if they are sleeping through the night. Make room for how exceptionally hard it can feel to be chronically sleep deprived, and work out what you can do to refill your own cup within that existence.

For me, that means remembering to get outside for some sunshine and fresh air, leaving my baby with someone else for 30 minutes so I can have a swim and a shower by myself, and giving myself permission to outsource what we can afford to and where possible to let go of things that we cant.

3 out of 3 of my children have had low sleep needs, have catnapped in the day, and have woken overnight. What has changed is my acceptance of this - it is so liberating to accept that it’s normal and that I’m not missing anything or doing anything wrong.

Some days are still bloody hard and I still find myself wishing that they could sleep more (or need less help from me to sleep). But I know that like most aspects of parenting, these are seasons that will change, and we’ll get through this.

Sleep can be hard but you don’t have to do it alone. Find out about our sleep support